#notpregnantjustfat

I am still safely in the pre-period zone and I have to confess that I am prone to the odd blank gaze brought about by my day-dreaming ways. I must also confess that my day-dreaming has at times had the potential to veer off course and in the past (anytime up until 5 minutes ago if I'm being really honest) I have found myself getting rather carried away. I have just been reminded of this as I checked my emails and I have a newsletter from a Baby Blogging/Mummy-to-be website. I'd like to say that I subscribed to this for the 'Getting Pregnant' info it offers (there isn't a lot of it that anyone TTC - that's a new acronym I learned today - hasn't already read a thousand times, it is much like the generic advice that is in every monthly women's magazine about how to get over a break-up), but that's not the truth. I subscribed during a moment of euphoric hope much like the one I am experiencing now. One where my last period and its accompanying disappoi...

hope. noun - a feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen. When struggling with anything in life, we need something to keep us going and for me and my personal struggle it is the weeks of hope that precede a period. I have noticed a pattern emerging in the times I feel compelled to sit down and spill my heart out over this blog and it has invariably been the times when I have my period, or have felt it coming on. I have realised this and think it is important to note that I do not live in a ball of depression all month long; I don't spend my days or weeks rocking back and forth in the foetal position awaiting the day that the fetus is inside of me. That is not to say that when my period goes, so does the idea of having a baby, far from it. During these weeks I can live in the blissful hope that this will be the month.  As the pains fade and the bleeding subsides (sorry for the visuals, but we all know what we're here for!), I move past the he...

Que sera, sera Whatever will be, will be The future's not ours to see Que sera, sera - Doris Day One of the hardest parts of trying (unsuccessfully) for a baby is the constant waiting, wondering, day-dreaming and second guessing. It can be extremely difficult to just 'get on' with life when baby making is always at the back of your mind. Friends and family will offer wise words of advice during times like this 'It'll happen when the time is right' or 'What's for you won't pass you' and 'Que sera sera.' These people are all well meaning and the truth is that they just don't have any more answers than you do, so they dig deep for any and all clichés that they feel may be broadly appropriate for the situation.  To be fair, I often pull out many of these phrases when I am having a word with myself in a down moment.  I always tell myself that it will happen when the time is right and I just have to be patient in the m...